Pandemic Time /

You knew it wouldn’t take long for the “P” word to come up on this blog. Considering how it’s dominated the world conversation for just about a year now, I couldn’t pretend it didn’t exist. There are many shows on television that act like there’s no such thing as a pandemic, and I suppose that’s good for escapism. But this blog is about my real life and it had to come up.

Today, specifically, I’ve been thinking about the weird passage of time over the last twelve months. It was a year ago next week that the world was locked down and it felt terrifying, at least to me, my family, and friends, to go anyplace, even with a mask on. There was so much we didn’t know then about the Covid-19 virus and sadly don’t know now. Hiding inside our homes as much as possible, unless we were essential workers, felt scary enough. And toilet paper! THAT was real terror, the prospect that we wouldn’t have enough for our bathroom needs. The shelves were virtually empty and the few rolls that remained caused riots in the shopping aisles. Fun times.

Blink!

Here we are a year later. So much about our world has changed, and yet none of the usual distractions have happened. At all. Vacations. Nope. Concerts. Nope. Dinners out. Nope. Weddings. Fuggedaboutit! Visits with grandparents, siblings, cousins. Nuh uh. Aside from virtual visits (hello Zoom, we now know you well), there’s been none of the enjoyable social or leisure time activities. I don’t think we can count all of the reality tv shows or the Netflix series as a normal distraction. They are merely a distraction to take our minds out of the void of quarantine and the constant level of anxiety created by the pandemic.

The daily chores continue, as they always will. Work must be done, from newly carved-out home offices. Food must be procured, perhaps in safer ways like delivery or curbside pickup, if we have that luxury. Meals must be cooked. Children must be tended, even more often than pre-pandemic now that they must be home-schooled, bless those inexperienced parents who have had that dropped into their busy lives.

The busy day-to-days still go on without the leisure activity breaks to distract us. And because of that, to me at least, it feels like time hasn’t passed at all.

Instead the days have passed in a blur. I’ve often felt like I returned to the fogginess of my chemotherapy days. All this extra time, without the normal social and leisure distractions. Oh, there’s so much I thought I could accomplish as a creative person with no activity distractions. And did any of them really happen? No. No Great American Novel or non-fiction book written. No Oracle Card deck created. No virtual art shop opened for my paintings.

For all of the extra, forced time at home we had, the lack of productivity is astounding. But the consequences of thIs pandemic to our spirits, let alone bodies of those affected, run deep. And without the usual external activities to mark the passage of time, time passes like water trickling over the rock bed in a stream, barely noticed, but passing just the same.