Out of Practice, Part 2

A few weeks ago I wrote about my immune system being out of practice dealing with your everyday virus situation. I didn’t feel well for a solid week from when my symptoms started. All better now. Even better than better because we had a little weekend getaway to our favorite beach two weekends ago, Chincoteague, Va. If you hang with me long enough, you will hear me babble on about this special place until… you want to go there too. Haha!

Anyway, there’s another way in which I’ve discovered that I’m out of practice. That’s going out in public and being social and seeing people in the flesh. AAAACKKK! The madness. The horror movie. The scariness. Scariness because we aren’t just talking about dragging my introvert out of her cave; there’s also that Covid Delta Variant which comes with its own brand of fear.

But back to my introvert. She’s had to meet people for lunch, for coffee, for meetings, for classes. When will this insanity stop?

It was much more challenging at first. I felt like there was a thick layer of rust that needed to be scraped off. Only it didn’t come off in one solid piece. It came off in little bitty chips. Oh, I have to make small talk with the server at the restaurant. Or, hmm, I need to order something face to face. And then, of course, the old habits need to be restrained, such as the impulse to hug a friend when you see them. Do people still hug? Or how about when someone stretches out their hand for a shake at a meeting? Can I refuse to meet their gesture. I’d like to. I’ve never been a fan of swapping hand germs with strangers. Call me an introvert, I own it.

It turns out that after a year and a half or so of this break from socializing, getting back out there fatigues us and makes us need more pre and post event naps to recuperate. We’re not just rusty, many of us are depressed and stressed from our lockdowns, introvert and extroverts alike.

On many days I have wished for the return to lockdowns. Not for the reason that we are worried that the world will return to getting sick and dying, but for the sake of mental health. I think we have all bought into the insanity of the modern world that we are required to always be on the go and never turn down an opportunity to socialize. But I think this runs counter to our natures and pandemic lockdown gave us a break.

In my experience people seem grouchier and more tired since we’ve been released into the wild. Maybe it’s the politicization of the whole pandemic. I don’t think I need to explain that to anyone. But it makes things so very confusing. Because of the Delta variant we are advised to wear a mask these days in public, even if you are vaccinated. But then I walk into Target and few people are wearing a mask, and it feels like eyes are on me and my mask. Are they looking at me accusingly because they assume I’m unvaccinated and that’s why I’m wearing it? Or do they feel I’m just foolish, if vaccinated, for giving up the promised freedom from masks if we are. There’s no winning. Step too close to some people and they feel threatened. Try to stay away from others and they crush into your own personal space boundary. I think many of us unconsciously miss the personal space of pandemic. And thinking and overthinking about all of this will wear you out at the very least.

We have forgotten some of the better lessons of pandemic, that maybe life can go on at a slower speed with more connection to those closest to us. And that hustling to keep a full schedule, and attend crowded activities isn’t always the best reward for surviving Covid.